evening

Who knows the night like I do?
The curve of the moon,
Each soft star?
Who feels the black velvet
Blanket of the passing of the sun?
Who welcomes the darkness coming
After the day is passed and done?
Oh the snowy wind
I’ve met it well
Since for snow my tears the night employs
And frozen there beneath the layers
I oft’ have occasion to forget
The pain of many a lost joy.
Too many years I’ve felt this
Long through darkness
I have run
Searching like a banshee howling
For a long lost life
A love
The sun.
Each memory rides my heart
Unwanted
While every thought passes
But turns back again.
Crystal daggers
They toil debating
How to find a way back in.
Tell me who knows the night like I do?
And who does the night know?
Have you slept for long years yearning
For the longing to finally go?
Darkness knows my secrets
I share them as the sky moves
Tuck them away
Hidden from tomorrow
Only the evening knows my truths.
So who knows the night like I do?
Only those who’ve said goodbye
Ones who can’t undo their sorrow
With wings too laden down to fly
And who does the night know?
Well she knows me well
I do suppose
And the night
Does she know you too?
As you sit and gaze
Back down the road?
Does she cradle you in her arms
Kind one eve and cruel the next?
Do you shake your fist in desperation
Trying to release her icy grip?
Does she promise better days
Only to return again
To collect your end of the bargain
A debt well paid but demanded again?
And again.
Does she know herself
This mistress
A sparkling diamond
Drinker of blood?
Does she find joy in her bounty
Staying young by stealing hours?
Encouraging weeping over
Unforgotten love?
Is it too late to embrace the morning?
Has it been too long away?
Will she hide in the shadows lurking
Tainting moments of the day?
Who does the night know?
And who knows the night?
She knows me
Knows me well
She too shares her secrets in the late late hours
But I have heard to much to tell.

aubra takes a stab at writing country lyrics for the first time since being about 8 years old.

Met on my front porch swing
When we were still kids
Who knew that playing cars
And chasing frogs would lead to this.

Came to share everything
Sunkissed afternoons
Our nights were spent dreaming
Just us beneath a harvest moon

Then he said
Say something
I don’t care what it is
Tell me anything to make
This moment stay
Words I feel but can’t say
Are strong in your kiss
Say something
The evening’s almost gone
And I can’t face this world alone
I need your love to go on
Say something.

And down the road in college
She took his last name
With the church bells chiming
They swore their love would stay the same.

And they shared everything
From smiles to the rent
And those quiet nights stolen
Were far too precious to forget

But after school was over
Something went and changed
She tried to fight the feeling but
That feeling, damn, it stayed the same.

And somewhere through the years
Something disappeared
She tried to recollect
What got lost
Between the laughter and the tears

And he said
Say something
I don’t care what it is
Tell me anything to take
The heartbreak away
Take the words we won’t say
Out of your kiss
Say something
We’re barely holding on
And I can’t face this world alone
Or that our love is gone
Say something.

And there’s so much shame
When no one’s left to blame
And the pain inside will
Eat you alive
As your conscience screams his name

And as he packed his suitcase
She stood standing by
And hard as she tried
She just couldn't cry

With all the years behind them
You'd think the tears'd just come
But she was just too tired
And she was just too done

He headed for the doorway
Head hung low with grief
And in the final hour
He offered one last plea

He said
Say something
I don’t care what it is
Tell me anything to take
The heartbreak away
Must be words we could say
Must be time for a kiss
Say something
I'm still holding on
Cause I can’t face this world alone
Or that our love is gone
Say something.

a severe headache

(i wrote this when i was 16, just found it, and though i'd post it)

Another shitty night
A bleeding heart night
Eat my heart night
Where's your insight?
You never call
You never write
Perment midnight and you're
Fine
Bleeding heart
Beating heart.
You beat my heart
You
You make my heart beat
I hate you sooooo much
I
I'm never good enough
Not cute enough
Or thin enough
Or 'you" enough.
I've had enough of you!
Silence........
........
That's all I'm greeted with
My cries are sheeted with
Silence.
You unerve me
And disturb me
Make me hate me
The silence claims me.
Wake up
Face that new day
Muddle through day
Think of you day!
Still I hide away
Hey................
YOU!
Break my ceilings!
'Cause I'm reeling
Loosing feeling
Numbness
Dettachment
Abadonment
I'm sick of it!
Just kill me!

I can't tell
The difference between
This sad life and zesty burning hell.
You fell from Earth
Or heaven?
Hatched at a seven eleven?
Your belly must hurt.
You've been slithering through my mind all day.

bloodletting

Sometimes I don’t want to talk, I just want to sit. I don’t trust myself enough to trust others to hear what I’m actually saying. Take a breath...there’s a story I’ve been saving.

It started long ago in a town so far away, where a boy, a girl, they met. Both had hearts of silver and gold, but smiles that felt old, and knives inside ...and holes. And bugs and worms, and bees in their brains, from living life in such a way that kept them open to all the evil that they trusted. Silly kids. But they adjusted. ‘Cause once those are there, they stay. There’s no pill you can take for that kind of pain. The ugliness and the terror remain.

They taught each other that love can be the absolute worst kind of enemy. Because eventually all the words that are said and gone slice you open when the silence comes. Then you’re left cleaning the wounds, licking the blood off with your tongue.

And that kind of torment makes you a vampire, so you go out and find others, and cut them first...before they can drain your world with their careless thirst. What is trust- can you see when it is broken? Nothing is louder than words left unspoken.

This winter’s been cold. There’s a summer hiding somewhere, but I just can’t let go. The blue of the snow screams of eyes that I used to know. And now December’s gone, still I am holding on. There’s a sun for which I’ve had no love, since you took it with you halfway across the world.

Maybe what we’re doing is fooling ourselves and we weren’t meant to go, to turn out into hell, facing it all, holding stories we can’t tell. I recall the Fall that you came, now autumn’s not the same. It’s just dry leaves, breaking apart, like all these ghosts in me. Don’t get me started on the spring.

Alone in a sun that I can no longer stand, the light blinds me. I want the darkness again. At least there I know what to expect, and nobody can take that away. There’s been nothing worse since the day the light left, and left me changed.

in the dark, dark woods (you found me)

Is Madison cold
Does the wind rattle your bones
And steal your warmth tonight?
Do you worry about being alone?
Do you think about me?

Where’d you go?
And does the time move by slow?
Seems like it’s been so many days
But not that long ago
Since you were next to me.

Oh dear friend,
Where do you lay your head tonight?
How did I lose you?

My hearts got a dead beat
It thunders through my ears
How did we get here
Lost on an empty street
With no memory of the last three years?
It feels like yesterday
When I put up my hood to stop the rain
Clinging to a spark of life
In those lonely, lonely days.
When you found me.

Remember the day,
Saying goodbye to that part of my life.
I’ll miss your words
So hard on my own
Trying to live a new life right.

So long to the nights
Wrapped in each others arms.
So long to the pain we held inside.
I’ll hold your memory
Close tonight.

So long to the music,
My dear friend.
Is Madison cold tonight?